Choice – finding your persona

There are so many things I may have done differently had I the courage to make different choices. You often hear people say: “If only I knew then, what I know now”. Okay, so you may not have had the knowledge back then, but what about chances missed because of a negative mindset or out of fear.

Caregivers choose to do what they think is best and may question the concept of children making their own decisions. You may even think it a load of ‘BS’, especially if you’re more old school with a, ‘you will do as I say’, attitude. I’m not challenging parenting styles, especially not on major welfare issues. No, I’m considering minor things which can inculcate well thought out decision making from a young age. You’ll be amazed at children’s insight and how responsible they can be. We can even learn from them. It’s definitely a two-way street. Yes, they may see the world through rose-coloured glasses, but maybe as adults it’s good to be reminded of this because our choices are ultimately very different when all we see is doom and gloom.

Learning Life Lessons

Eating choices = Good health/Self-love.
Allowing children to choose what they dish-up, with a little persuasion in the vegetable department, encourages them to make good choices, even if this only takes full effect once they’re much older, but hopefully it is enough to cement a healthy relationship with food that circumvents any future eating disorders.

Entertainment choices = Compromise/Acceptance.
Discussing and giving everyone a chance to choose the family movie teaches little ones about compromise and to accept other peoples choices. With this comes the realization that not everything is in your control, nor do you always get what you want. They do however have control over their actions; sulk for not getting their way or be happy and enjoy the movie.

Clothing choices = Rules/Commonsense.
The simplicity of being able to choose what to wear at the weekend, as apposed to a compulsory school uniform, helps children learn about protocols. You may have a tussle on your hands when there’s a special event, but the upside to this is them learning social norms, which instills a level of decorum that will benefit them immensely in the grownup world.

Money choices = Patience/Decisiveness.
Assisting young ones to save and allowing them to choose how to spend it, gives them insight into living with the consequences of their choices. It’s also the perfect opportunity for them to learn about comparing what they can afford and deciding on whether to continue saving for something more expensive that’s of a better quality. This can imprint that important decisions should not be made in hast and hopefully also negate instant gratification which is a major problem with today’s generation.

Friend choices = Communication/Self-growth.
Choosing friends is always challenging because figuring out who will support, uplift and encourage, instead of breaking you down is difficult at any age. All you can do is discuss and give advice because your best case scenario is to hope that they experience as little hurt, heartache, pain and disappointment as possible.

Action Choices = Tolerance/Responsibility
Growing up can be hard because kids are often cruel. The onus lies upon adults to steer children towards transforming their world into a better place. Love rather than hate. Accept rather than ostracize. Tolerate rather than vindicate. Grasping these concepts, as well as knowing right from wrong and understanding the consequences of harming another person will help eradicate many of the societal problems we are faced with today.

Study choices = Time Management/Consequences
Advocate, ‘what you put in, is what you get out’; meaning, that doing the work usually equates in good results, but also inform them that sometimes this correlation is skewed and then it’s best not to berate yourself because if you tried your best then you need to be proud of yourself either way. The same sentiment goes for not expecting great results if you did not put in the work. They need to be content with what they get and if not, then you can advise them on how to improve.

Environment Choices = Cleanliness/Forethought.
Getting children to see the concord between; clean room, clean mind and clean environment, clean life, is really important for them to keep their surroundings neat and tidy. This also teaches them to appreciation and be proud of what they have and to understand that everything lasts longer when looked after and taken care of. It may be helpful to explain that anything can be taken away from you at anytime and this applies to their personal belongings, as well as the condition of Mother-earth and the world around us.

Thought Choices = Perseverance/Positivity
Negative thoughts are natural, so it’s imperative to teach young people a positive self dialogue because there’s nothing better than being equipped with the emotional armor and knowledge that the bad you are experiencing will not last forever. The thought of, ‘this to shall pass’, will help them make clear choices based on the importance of what makes them happy, instead of being influenced by naysayers.

Childhood lessons, with positive reinforcement, gives rise to strong confident adults who have the tools and abilities to easily navigate their way through life.

Fact :

It’s virtually impossible to kill a tardigrade (waterbear). You can freeze, boil, crush, zap with radiation or deprive it of food and water for years, but this eight-legged microscopic creature will still wiggle its way back to life.

Affirmation :

I am the very best me I can be!

Quote :

Inspiration :

BOOK
I Think, I Am
by Louise Hay & Kristina Tracy
Genre : Children Self-help

MOVIE
The Emoji Movie
Time : 1hr 26min
Genre : Animation/Sci-fi Adventure

SONG

Brave by Sara Bareilles

Something Cute – ENJOY 😊

blog posts

poetry

I had an epiphany when I came across the statement; “choosing to not make a choice, is a choice in itself”. It made me rethink my past; considering where I blamed others for an experience, when in actual fact it was me who had allowed it. So no-one else was to blame, but me… That then took me on a whole new negative journey; blaming myself instead of others.

Fortunately with extra life experience, books, movies and therapy, I came to the conclusion that using words with negative connotations rarely produces anything positive in your life. Now when rethinking the above, I choose to replace the word “blame” with “responsible”; so no-one else was responsible, but me.

Taking ownership of all that happens in your LIFE is empowering in itself, even if the results aren’t entirely favourable. It’s amazing how a shift in thinking can alter your sentiment with regards to any situation and give rise to a totally different emotional response. We relinquish our power when, consciously or unconsciously, we allow others to steer our lives. The same goes for just letting life happen because in doing so, you render yourself helpless.

It’s a bit difficult rethinking what you could have done as a child because your PARENTS were in charge and they made all the decisions. You didn’t really have any power over what happened, but now your power lies in how you choose to view those choices that were made for you.

Caregivers choose to do what they think is best for you at the time. People of yesteryear questioned less and were more accepting of authoritarian figures. This conditioning led to automatic decision making, based on old mindsets passed on from previous generations, so even though circumstances had changed, often the responses did not. Breaking this cycle, with out of the box thinking, was very difficult because you had to challenge all that you were taught. The youth of today can speak up for themselves more easily, challenging those in charge, especially if what’s happening to them is deemed oppressive because there is more recourse.

Making life choices is trying at the best of times and having the responsibility of doing so for others, is even worst. Fortunately there’s a positive to every negative thought or feeling. If little people are under your care, then you have been gifted with a great opportunity to equip them with the necessary skills to make smart personal choices. You can start to inculcate decision making from a very young age by allowing them to decide on what to wear or how to spend their saving. Yes, these may be very simple decisions, but the experience of being responsible and learning to take charge of your own choices will greatly benefit them in the future.

As adults we are all faced with tough decisions and indecisiveness can be very overwhelming and stressful. The inability to make calculated choices for ourselves can be draining and that may lead us to allow others to take charge. This can result in major problems which can be emotionally stifling and even crippling later on in life.

If you’re lucky enough to come from a background where you obtained all the necessary skills to make your own decisions, then you’ll be in a position to live a life without regret because you’re able to take ownership of all that’s happening in your life. Should this not be the case and you find yourself pondering what you would have done differently if given a do-over, you could find yourself stuck in a horrible place filled with self-doubt and regret.

Do not fret if you’re in an unhappy place, questioning all that you’ve done thus far. From this comes personal growth, but only if you take the time to FORGIVE yourself and others for past experiences. Evaluate your current situation and know that you can choose to do whatever makes you happy at anytime. It’s never too late. You’ll need to weigh all the pros and cons to establish what is and will be most beneficial to you in the long run. Your emotional happiness and mental sanity depends on it.

You’ll have a whole lot to contemplate if you’re sitting with a work or RELATIONSHIP conundrum. Children will definitely complicate these decisions. Many parents make detrimental decisions considering what they think is best for their children. What they fail to realize is that, what’s good for them is most probably best for their children as well because a happy person makes for a happy parent. The task of making life changing decisions is not always easy. It may take some sacrifice; maybe even relinquishing some creature comforts you’ve become accustom to.

Whether you’re stuck in a job that’s unrewarding or in a relationship that is unfulfilling, questioning all your life’s choices or lack thereof, it’s good to reflect on how all these things came about. We need to question what criteria forms the bases of our decision making. It’s imperative that we consciously weigh all the information at hand before drawing to any conclusions, including: how we feel, what we know to be true and have learned from experience. This is often not the case, especially when life seems too chaotic. That’s when we find ourselves reverting to autopilot choices or procrastination because the whole process feels like too much of an effort. Many people fear making changes to remedy their situations because they are afraid of making the wrong choice. Valuable lessons often come from what we perceive to be a “wrong life choice” because it resulted in a bad experience or situation, but that may be the very catalyst needed to lead you to your blissful state. You have to be willing to take a chance and sometimes your safest choice is not always the best choice, but that is still your choice because you’re the one who will have to live with the consequences.

Always doing things to please others opens a whole can of worms. By doing so you lose yourself and afterwards you may not even be able to identify what you love, want or makes you happy. To ensure your happiness you have to believe in doing what’s best for you because you are deserving of everything good in this life. If you’ve always been a ‘people-pleaser’, then this change in attitude will be met with resistance. The people close to you or that you come into contact with on the daily will start to question: “Who is this person?” and “What happened to the person we knew?”. Arguments will ensue. Just be calm. Explain your position. If they respect, love and care about you, then they will understand and come to terms with your new disposition. If not, then they are not worthy of your time or energy! You are in control. You always have a choice. This is your power and your HAPPINESS does count. You can’t please or make everyone else happy all of the time, so why not choose to please and make yourself happy instead.

Fact :

Dogs are most likely to run to you on your return and this is often interpreted as love and affection. Part of that reason may be because they are solely dependent on you.

Cats are more likely to do things on their own and just because they may not run to your side, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cold or unfeeling. They’re just minglers and explorers.