Friendship, Love, POETRY, Relationships

Goodbye

My heart breaks with physical pain
It’s inconceivable and totally insane 
How can this be to never see you again 

PER CHANCE we meet with ease 
From two to three in a breeze 
Our trio began for fun to be had 

Ears to listen and tears to dry 
A shoulder to lean on 
Never asking why 

Things happen within life’s clutch 
Time passes and we all loose touch  
Though the distance is never too much 

We find each other in crises
Giving support at length 
For love joins us all in strength 

Not seeing each other time wasted
Especially with bonds so strong 
We all make mistakes and sometimes go wrong 

Making plans to see 
Arrangements with glee 
So sad when these never come be 

Your secret language now in the sky 
100 Pieces Fahrenheit and Poendie Pie 
This we’ll miss I tell no lie 

The smile on my face and the laugh in our soul 
How could we to know your sweet hello
Would be our last GOODBYE. 


Children, Fathers, Love, Mothers, Parents, POETRY, Relationships

Together Apart

Little looking up
Happy and calm
Bond so strong
Knowing you belong 

Innocent fun 
Out for a run 
On the beach 
And in the sun 

Growing older
Becoming bolder
Drifting apart
The breaking heart 

Feeling of loss 
Mental health cost 
Emotional yearning
Future fearing 

Time passes 
Life gives classes 
The universe clever 
Finding ways together 

All worlds the charm 
Surely there can be no harm 
It’s on a mend 
Together again 

Understanding amiss 
Where’s the bliss 
The dynamic unclear 
Losing a real fear 

To and fro 
Where to go 
Can better return 
With scars a burn 

All the trying 
Situation tiring 
It’s disdainful 
Our relationship painful 

Realization and acceptance sad 
Acknowledging the times had 
Its all so unfair 
For love is truly there 


Advice, Life Lessons, Love, Relationships

Stay or Walk Away


If you are or were in a relationship you will know that it isn’t always an easy choice to “makeup and be happy”, as this is totally situation dependent. It’s imperative that you weigh up all the pros and cons!!! A word of caution though; be careful of selfless or selfish decision-making as it may well lead you down an even more unhappy path…

The major difficulty lies in knowing what’s best for you and having the courage to make a decision based solely on this. Only you know what truly makes you happy and therefore only you can make the choice. Your happiness must be a priority because you are the most important person in your life. We often forget this and end up making compromising decisions which ultimately are to our detriment.

Difference Heart & Mind

It is an immense undertaking figuring out whether a relationship is still worth your time and energy or if your partner is still deserving of your love, trust and commitment?

So now you find yourself tussling with a decision-making dilemma, after realizing that your happiness should be your first and foremost concern.

Hopefully some of what I highlight can assist you to come to a clear conclusion because no one is deserving of living a fuzzy life filled with self-doubt and what ifs.

Car no gas

JUST WALK AWAY

  • If Your Are Being Used or Abused

Does Quid-Pro-Quo scenarios often present itself? Financial, social standing or benefits of a different kind? When you find yourself questioning your partners motives, then you already know the answer.

Physical! Emotional! Psychological! Any type of abuse is a no-no. It’s absolutely non-negotiable. You need to escape their clutches. You better leave and don’t ever look back.

  • If Jealousy/Obsession Is Making You Uneasy/Nervous

This is one of those 6th sense situations. You have to be aware of and listen to your inner voice. My advice is normally ‘when in doubt, do not do’, but in this case your uncertainty is key and the answer you seek is to move on.

  • If Your Partner Refuses Professional Assistance

When it comes to addiction of any kind, you will need outside help, whether it’s from a counselor or a support group.

You instinctively know when the good health of your relationship is being compromised and if you can’t convince your partner of this fact and, or to go with you to therapy then you will always find yourselves at loggerheads. Your decision to opt out will depend on how long you are willing to deal with this situation.

  • If Your Partner Denies You The Commitment You Need

Everyone’s commitment time-frame requirements differ so be very careful of offering ultimatums. Be 100% sure that you are prepared to live with the consequences no matter the verdict.

  • If You’re The Only One Making An Effort

Should you find yourself continuously harping on the subject of a one-sided relationship with no sign of change, then it’s about high-time that you hightail out of there, otherwise you will end up resenting your partner which will do neither of you any good.

  • If You Come To A Negative Realization

You’ve lost contact with all that was good in your life. You no longer do what used to bring you joy. Your career, friendships or other relationships are suffering and you feel alone or isolated. If any of these ring true for you, then you are in a toxic relationship which needs exiting immediately.smart stupid

NOT EVERYBODY IS THE SAME

What can you accept and what can you not? Are you able to give it another go after the fact or not? None of this is cut and dry. The choice is up to you… Do not allow yourself to be pressured into anything…

Remember, Your Happiness First’.

  • Infidelity?

For some people this is an absolute deal-breaker but if you are willing to try and get over it together, then by all means give it another shot. Please do rethink your decision should another affair rear its ugly head. This may well be a pattern and you will need to reflect on whether you can live with this. If you come to an understanding and are in agreement with the situation, then that’s a whole different ball game, as long as you both are aware of the rules.

  • Crossroads?

Our perspectives and priorities change as life happens. So I change, you change and life goes on, but what happens when these changes start pulling you apart. Religious changes… Political changes… Financial changes… . If you find that you are totally different people and unhappy as hell with each other because of this then cut each other loose. Set your partner free. No use staying out of a sense of duty or loyalty. No shame in choosing yourself above all else.

  • Non-negotiable Qualities?

So your partner is faithful but unhelpful, or helpful but unreliable, or reliable but inconsiderate. What can you accept and which are you able to live with. Yes, relationships are about compromise but there’s a chance that what’s acceptable now may well end up being the straw or straws that lead to the breaking down of your relationship. Take the time to evaluate harshly. Rather make the hard decisions sooner than later or you may end up having to deal with disappointment, heartache and regret as well.

Love is - Looking Ahead

DEFINITELY STAY

No relationship is perfect. There’ll be ups and downs, but does the ups outweigh the downs? I would suggest a 60/40 rule. By this, I mean that when your personal relationship happiness rating is at 60%, you should ponder if there’s anything you can do to up this ratio because you ultimately want to be sitting at an 80/20 split.

Now comes the crucial questions : “Do I still want to be in this relationship?”, “Is this relationship worth my effort?”, “Can we make this better?” and “Are we willing to make this better?”

  • Willingness to compromise

Do you have a 50/50 relationship? If we do what makes you happy now are we going to do what makes me happy next? If either of you are uncompromising, then your relationship will eventually take a downward spiral, but that’s not the end of the world. If you truly love one another then all is surmountable. It’s all about communication, being able to express yourself, and most of all having a partner who is willing listen as well as trying to understand, which will then ultimately lead to you both making the changes for greater harmony together.

  • Comfortable with life altering decisions

Are you willing to move cities for each other whether for work or health reasons? Do you see yourself buying or sharing a home together? Will religious differences pose a problem when having children or as you grow older? We often don’t consider these questions until we are actually confronted with them.

  • My best friend

Who is the first person you want to share your good news with? Who do you need amidst a crises? If your answer is ‘your significant other’, then your relationship is most certainly worth the work. The opposite is also equally important. Are you the first person your partner seeks out for all the above. If your answer is yes, then consider yourself one of the luckiest people on the planet. Everyone, no matter what they may proclaim, would love to be the center of someones attention and affection. We all yearn to be loved and cared about. It is the most amazing feeling to love and be loved in return.

Moments Forgotten

CONCLUSION

All relationships need work. The more time you invest, the harder it is to throw in the towel. Giving up is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of strength. Having the strength to call it: “BUILD!” or “BREAK!”

fix it


I WISH YOU LUCK IN LOVE!


Fact:Love Owls

Barn owls are normally monogamous, but about 25 percent of mated pairs “divorce.”


Affirmation:Intertwined Hearts

I am in a loving relationship and my partner and I respect each other.


Quote:Scared Clock

Be careful of WHO and WHAT you invest your TIME in because it is NON-REFUNDABLE.


Inspiration:

BOOK

A Compromising Position

by Carole Matthews

Genre: Humour/Romance/Fiction

A Comprimising Position - Book

MOVIE

Think Like a Man

Time: 123 min

Genre: Romance/Comedy

Think Like A Man - Movie


SONG

I’d Rather by Luther Vandros


Advice, Depression, Hope, Relationships

There’s Hope for Depression

This was written with people who ‘do not have or have never experienced  depression’  in mind.

I prefer to use the word experience instead of suffer from as it has a more positive connotation and this subject needs all the positivity it can get.

Where to begin?… maybe a depiction of what it feels like so you are able to understand  & empathize because if you have never been through this experience, then it seems somewhat incomprehensible.

Depression Feels Like Drowning

It’s a mental state that physically pains you; like a heavy blanket that weighs you down; a dark cloud threatening to never let the sun shine through; a lonely space; a place where nothing or no-one is able to ease your pain…

You pray, beg and plead for it to pass, go away and stay away but to no avail. Once it takes hold of you, you have no control!

Then there are the days when it seemingly disappears; almost catching you totally by surprise. The moment you realise it has dissipated, you pray, beg and plead for it to stay away, but over this to, you have no control!I'm Not Okay

It’s sneaky I tell you!

Sometimes just pouncing on you unawares. Coming out of nowhere.

But then there are times when you know it’s there, (somewhere in the back of your mind), lurking in the shadows. It even has the ability to haunt you in broad daylight, like a wild cat slowly stalking its prey and there you are either unsuspecting or all afraid, almost anticipating its pounce!

Crying in your Room

DEPRESSION HATES COMPANY! YOU DO NOT WANT PEOPLE AROUND WHEN YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY!!

THE STRANGE THING IS THAT DEPRESSION LIFTS WHEN IN COMPANY!!!

SO MY ADVICE IS TO SOMETIMES FORCE YOUR WAY INTO THIS PERSONS COMPANY IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO COMFORT OR CONNECT WITH THEM!

THEY MAY FEEL ANNOYED & EVEN EXPRESS THIS TRYING TO PUSH YOU AWAY BUT PERSEVERE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THEY HAVE!!

Kitty Love Hug

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT HUGS HAVE MAGICAL POWERS!!!


Fact:Excercising Bunnies

Exercise stimulates our brain’s neurotransmitter, serotonin, which has also been called the ‘happiness hormone’.


Affirmation:Happy Sun

I now go beyond my fears and create a life filled with love and joy!


Inspiration:

BOOK

You Can Heal Your Life

Genre: Self-help Book

by Louise Hay

You Can Heal Your Life

MOVIE

Worlds Greatest Dad

Time: 99 min

Genre: Comedy/Drama

The Worlds Best Dad - Movie


SONG

Tomorrow by Quvenzhané Wallis


Here are some hard facts for the analytical minded:

Understanding Depression