Hurt, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Parents, Personal Growth, POETRY, Relationships, Starting Over

Forbidden Love

A rebellious cat and mouse game
Shocked us all with the love that came

The surprise look in every eye knowing
Yet each without words to explain

How could the ones who protect you get it so wrong
Why the fear of different worlds questioning where you belong
What should matter is being his princess, his queen all fair
And him prince charming, your king crowned in care

Stolen moments thick with emotion
The yearning looks of unspoken devotion
Time stands still and our silence speaks volumes
While the promise of forever fills the air

What is integrity when all you feel is anguish and pain
From trying to navigate family honour and duty in vain
Life can be cruel or is it the people who proclaim to love and care
When all they do is weigh you down with pressures to bear

What choice to make about which path to take
Do we succumb and let go of our dream
How will we know if we do not try
Will our feelings numb and our desires die

In the end we’re pulled apart
I’m left feeling like dying from a broken heart
Trying to stay strong while hiding my tears
Not wanting to journey within my deepest fears

How do I ever carry on living without our happy ending
When I’m surrounded by the people I’m hating
Where to put all these negative feelings to rest
With what to convince myself that this was for the best

As time passes you may think your wounds heal
But then a special song scent and word
Births moments of sadness and hurt
Causing old emotions to stir that you can’t help but feel

There may be a beautiful sunrise or sunset
That wakens dormant thoughts bringing past to present
And even though that time together was short lived
Those memories will always evoke a secret life that lives on forever


Advice, Children, Life Lessons, Parents, Self-love

Teaching Children To Choose

There are so many things I may have done differently had I the courage to make different choices. You often hear people say: “If only I knew then, what I know now”. Okay, so you may not have had the knowledge back then, but what about chances missed because of a negative mindset or out of fear.

Caregivers choose to do what they think is best and may question the concept of children making their own decisions. You may even think it a load of ‘BS’, especially if you’re more old school with a, ‘you will do as I say’, attitude. I’m not challenging parenting styles, especially not on major welfare issues. No, I’m considering minor things which can inculcate well thought out decision making from a young age. You’ll be amazed at children’s insight and how responsible they can be. We can even learn from them. It’s definitely a two-way street. Yes, they may see the world through rose-coloured glasses, but maybe as adults it’s good to be reminded of this because our choices are ultimately very different when all we see is doom and gloom.

Learning Life Lessons

Eating choices = Good health/Self-love.
Allowing children to choose what they dish-up, with a little persuasion in the vegetable department, encourages them to make good choices, even if this only takes full effect once they’re much older, but hopefully it is enough to cement a healthy relationship with food that circumvents any future eating disorders.

Entertainment choices = Compromise/Acceptance.
Discussing and giving everyone a chance to choose the family movie teaches little ones about compromise and to accept other peoples choices. With this comes the realization that not everything is in your control, nor do you always get what you want. They do however have control over their actions; sulk for not getting their way or be happy and enjoy the movie. 

Clothing choices = Rules/Commonsense.
The simplicity of being able to choose what to wear at the weekend, as apposed to a compulsory school uniform, helps children learn about protocols. You may have a tussle on your hands when there’s a special event, but the upside to this is them learning social norms, which instills a level of decorum that will benefit them immensely in the grownup world.

Money choices = Patience/Decisiveness.
Assisting young ones to save and allowing them to choose how to spend it, gives them insight into living with the consequences of their choices. It’s also the perfect opportunity for them to learn about comparing what they can afford and deciding on whether to continue saving for something more expensive that’s of a better quality. This can imprint that important decisions should not be made in hast and hopefully also negate instant gratification which is a major problem with today’s generation.

Friend choices = Communication/Self-growth.
Choosing friends is always challenging because figuring out who will support, uplift and encourage, instead of breaking you down is difficult at any age. All you can do is discuss and give advice because your best case scenario is to hope that they experience as little hurt, heartache, pain and disappointment as possible.

Action Choices = Tolerance/Responsibility
Growing up can be hard because kids are often cruel. The onus lies upon adults to steer children towards transforming their world into a better place. Love rather than hate. Accept rather than ostracize. Tolerate rather than vindicate. Grasping these concepts, as well as knowing right from wrong and understanding the consequences of harming another person will help eradicate many of the societal problems we are faced with today.

Study choices = Time Management/Consequences
Advocate, ‘what you put in, is what you get out’; meaning, that doing the work usually equates in good results, but also inform them that sometimes this correlation is skewed and then it’s best not to berate yourself because if you tried your best then you need to be proud of yourself either way. The same sentiment goes for not expecting great results if you did not put in the work. They need to be content with what they get and if not, then you can advise them on how to improve.

Environment Choices = Cleanliness/Forethought.
Getting children to see the concord between; clean room, clean mind and clean environment, clean life, is really important for them to keep their surroundings neat and tidy. This also teaches them to appreciation and be proud of what they have and to understand that everything lasts longer when looked after and taken care of. It may be helpful to explain that anything can be taken away from you at anytime and this applies to their personal belongings, as well as the condition of Mother-earth and the world around us.

Thought Choices = Perseverance/Positivity
Negative thoughts are natural, so it’s imperative to teach young people a positive self dialogue because there’s nothing better than being equipped with the emotional armor and knowledge that the bad you are experiencing will not last forever. The thought of, ‘this to shall pass’, will help them make clear choices based on the importance of what makes them happy, instead of being influenced by naysayers.

Childhood lessons, with positive reinforcement, gives rise to strong confident adults who have the tools and abilities to easily navigate their way through life.


Water Bear InfoFact :

It’s virtually impossible to kill a tardigrade (waterbear). You can freeze, boil, crush, zap with radiation or deprive it of food and water for years, but this eight-legged microscopic creature will still wiggle its way back to life.


Affirmation :Baby Mickey Mouse Mirror

I am the very best me I can be!


Quote :


Inspiration :

BOOK
I Think, I Am
by Louise Hay & Kristina Tracy
Genre : Children Self-help

MOVIE
The Emoji Movie
Time : 1hr 26min
Genre : Animation/Sci-fi Adventure

SONG

Brave by Sara Bareilles


Something Cute – ENJOY 😊


Children, Fathers, Love, Mothers, Parents, POETRY, Relationships

Together Apart

Little looking up
Happy and calm
Bond so strong
Knowing you belong 

Innocent fun 
Out for a run 
On the beach 
And in the sun 

Growing older
Becoming bolder
Drifting apart
The breaking heart 

Feeling of loss 
Mental health cost 
Emotional yearning
Future fearing 

Time passes 
Life gives classes 
The universe clever 
Finding ways together 

All worlds the charm 
Surely there can be no harm 
It’s on a mend 
Together again 

Understanding amiss 
Where’s the bliss 
The dynamic unclear 
Losing a real fear 

To and fro 
Where to go 
Can better return 
With scars a burn 

All the trying 
Situation tiring 
It’s disdainful 
Our relationship painful 

Realization and acceptance sad 
Acknowledging the times had 
Its all so unfair 
For love is truly there 


Advice, Children, Fathers, Mothers, Parents

Parent But Still The Child


Why This Choice?

Why have children if they don’t fit into your lifestyle?
Why have children if you don’t have the time?
Why have children if the expense is a problem?
Why have children if you don’t show an interest?
Why have children if you can’t give them support?
Why have children if you don’t make an effort to forge a relationship?
You were given the choice…
You should have thought this through…
Why? Why? Why?
I”LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!!!


These are often a child’s questioning thoughts or maybe even that of a co-parent.


I Tried

I tried my best with your development
I tried my best with your education
I tried my best to solve your problems
I tried my best to love you 
I tried my best to help you
I tried my best to support you
I tried my best to understand you
I tried my best to be there
I tried...I really did...I hope you know...

These are often parents thoughts which they don’t share with their children.


Your Parent Not Your FriendAs children we all need to arrive at a point in our lives where we forgive our parents for any hurt we may have experienced at their hand.

They were only doing their best with the knowledge they had at that time.

A major problem with parenting is that we were all children once and can only draw from our experiences to establish what we think is good or bad. What we fail to realize is that it is not what happens in the moment but what results in the long run. Many change the way they rear their children from how they were reared. This is mainly to rectify what they perceive to be mistakes their parents made. This can be anything from a slight adjustment to a complete overhaul.

Mature Adult ChildrenSomething you can be assured of is that when you are the parent, your child will probably have similar if not the exact same thoughts you had as a child, one of which will be: “to do things differently if I’m ever a parent”. Make sure that your child knows you only have their best interest at heart and any decisions pertaining to them always comes from a place of love.

As your children grow up you may realize that what you thought to be a mistake was in actual fact a blessing because of a particular lesson you were taught or the way you turned out. Then in hindsight, you are faced with the dilemma of how to teach your off-spring that fundamental something you now feel is integral.

One of the biggest hurdles with regards to deciding on a parenting style is that everyone is different, adults and children alike. Everyone reacts differently to various experiences and so what could possibly have a negative effect on some may just as well have a positive effect on others. Just know that it is not an exact science. My advice would be to switch it up. Life is based on trial and error and being able to forgive ourselves for any errors we make along the way. There is also no shame in apologising to your children should you feel you did something wrong. If anything it may well end up teaching them a valuable lesson.

Parent Children RuinDo share your childhood experiences with your children as they grow up or even later on in life because that can help them make sense of the reasons behind certain things you did. Understanding the thought processes which led to the stance you took could well assist them in making peace with the hurt they experienced. This will in-turn help them let go of any anger and resentment.

You may have to face your own demons with regards to your parents. Should they no longer be around, try speaking to a relative or family friend who could possibly shed some light on how you perceive the memories of your childhood. If none of this is an option or you feel that you would not be able to confront them face to face, do not to fret, you can always write a letter, even if it never gets delivered. It is all part of your healing process which should be a priority. Know that being a bitter-free adult-child will most definitely assist you to be a better parent for your child.

Understand Parents Love


Fact:Pup & Kitty

Everyone needs to be disciplined. Mother cats growl at their kittens and mother dogs nip at their pups to keep them in line.


Affirmation:Electric Heart

I fill my heart with love for my parents and bless them with it for they were also children once.


Quote:Tired Parent


Inspiration:

The Little Mermaid - BOOKBOOK

Title: The Little Mermaid
Originally by Hans Christian Andersen
Genre: Children’s Fairytale
New Release by Disney (Book/Animation)

The Single Mom's Club - MOVIE


MOVIE

Title: Single Moms Club
Time: 1hr 51min
Genre: Drama

SONG

Parents Just Don’t Understand by DJ Jazzy and The Fresh Prince