Your Happiness Journey Begins With A Single Step
Its time to forge your path
Take flight and soar
Enjoy the highs and lows
The world is here to explore
Experiences are all you keep
What is now is not on repeat
Don’t waste your time with overthinking
Grab hold those young and carefree
Before you’re to old to do and see
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There are so many things I may have done differently had I the courage to make different choices. You often hear people say: “If only I knew then, what I know now”. Okay, so you may not have had the knowledge back then, but what about chances missed because of a negative mindset or out of fear.
Caregivers choose to do what they think is best and may question the concept of children making their own decisions. You may even think it a load of ‘BS’, especially if you’re more old school with a, ‘you will do as I say’, attitude. I’m not challenging parenting styles, especially not on major welfare issues. No, I’m considering minor things which can inculcate well thought out decision making from a young age. You’ll be amazed at children’s insight and how responsible they can be. We can even learn from them. It’s definitely a two-way street. Yes, they may see the world through rose-coloured glasses, but maybe as adults it’s good to be reminded of this because our choices are ultimately very different when all we see is doom and gloom.
Eating choices = Good health/Self-love.
Allowing children to choose what they dish-up, with a little persuasion in the vegetable department, encourages them to make good choices, even if this only takes full effect once they’re much older, but hopefully it is enough to cement a healthy relationship with food that circumvents any future eating disorders.
Entertainment choices = Compromise/Acceptance.
Discussing and giving everyone a chance to choose the family movie teaches little ones about compromise and to accept other peoples choices. With this comes the realization that not everything is in your control, nor do you always get what you want. They do however have control over their actions; sulk for not getting their way or be happy and enjoy the movie.
Clothing choices = Rules/Commonsense.
The simplicity of being able to choose what to wear at the weekend, as apposed to a compulsory school uniform, helps children learn about protocols. You may have a tussle on your hands when there’s a special event, but the upside to this is them learning social norms, which instills a level of decorum that will benefit them immensely in the grownup world.
Money choices = Patience/Decisiveness.
Assisting young ones to save and allowing them to choose how to spend it, gives them insight into living with the consequences of their choices. It’s also the perfect opportunity for them to learn about comparing what they can afford and deciding on whether to continue saving for something more expensive that’s of a better quality. This can imprint that important decisions should not be made in hast and hopefully also negate instant gratification which is a major problem with today’s generation.
Friend choices = Communication/Self-growth.
Choosing friends is always challenging because figuring out who will support, uplift and encourage, instead of breaking you down is difficult at any age. All you can do is discuss and give advice because your best case scenario is to hope that they experience as little hurt, heartache, pain and disappointment as possible.
Action Choices = Tolerance/Responsibility
Growing up can be hard because kids are often cruel. The onus lies upon adults to steer children towards transforming their world into a better place. Love rather than hate. Accept rather than ostracize. Tolerate rather than vindicate. Grasping these concepts, as well as knowing right from wrong and understanding the consequences of harming another person will help eradicate many of the societal problems we are faced with today.
Study choices = Time Management/Consequences
Advocate, ‘what you put in, is what you get out’; meaning, that doing the work usually equates in good results, but also inform them that sometimes this correlation is skewed and then it’s best not to berate yourself because if you tried your best then you need to be proud of yourself either way. The same sentiment goes for not expecting great results if you did not put in the work. They need to be content with what they get and if not, then you can advise them on how to improve.
Environment Choices = Cleanliness/Forethought.
Getting children to see the concord between; clean room, clean mind and clean environment, clean life, is really important for them to keep their surroundings neat and tidy. This also teaches them to appreciation and be proud of what they have and to understand that everything lasts longer when looked after and taken care of. It may be helpful to explain that anything can be taken away from you at anytime and this applies to their personal belongings, as well as the condition of Mother-earth and the world around us.
Thought Choices = Perseverance/Positivity
Negative thoughts are natural, so it’s imperative to teach young people a positive self dialogue because there’s nothing better than being equipped with the emotional armor and knowledge that the bad you are experiencing will not last forever. The thought of, ‘this to shall pass’, will help them make clear choices based on the importance of what makes them happy, instead of being influenced by naysayers.
Childhood lessons, with positive reinforcement, gives rise to strong confident adults who have the tools and abilities to easily navigate their way through life.
Fact :It’s virtually impossible to kill a tardigrade (waterbear). You can freeze, boil, crush, zap with radiation or deprive it of food and water for years, but this eight-legged microscopic creature will still wiggle its way back to life.
I am the very best me I can be!
BOOK
I Think, I Am
by Louise Hay & Kristina Tracy
Genre : Children Self-help
MOVIE
The Emoji Movie
Time : 1hr 26min
Genre : Animation/Sci-fi Adventure
SONG
Brave by Sara Bareilles
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If you are or were in a relationship you will know that it isn’t always an easy choice to “makeup and be happy”, as this is totally situation dependent. It’s imperative that you weigh up all the pros and cons!!! A word of caution though; be careful of selfless or selfish decision-making as it may well lead you down an even more unhappy path…
The major difficulty lies in knowing what’s best for you and having the courage to make a decision based solely on this. Only you know what truly makes you happy and therefore only you can make the choice. Your happiness must be a priority because you are the most important person in your life. We often forget this and end up making compromising decisions which ultimately are to our detriment.
It is an immense undertaking figuring out whether a relationship is still worth your time and energy or if your partner is still deserving of your love, trust and commitment?
So now you find yourself tussling with a decision-making dilemma, after realizing that your happiness should be your first and foremost concern.
Hopefully some of what I highlight can assist you to come to a clear conclusion because no one is deserving of living a fuzzy life filled with self-doubt and what ifs.
Does Quid-Pro-Quo scenarios often present itself? Financial, social standing or benefits of a different kind? When you find yourself questioning your partners motives, then you already know the answer.
Physical! Emotional! Psychological! Any type of abuse is a no-no. It’s absolutely non-negotiable. You need to escape their clutches. You better leave and don’t ever look back.
This is one of those 6th sense situations. You have to be aware of and listen to your inner voice. My advice is normally ‘when in doubt, do not do’, but in this case your uncertainty is key and the answer you seek is to move on.
When it comes to addiction of any kind, you will need outside help, whether it’s from a counselor or a support group.
You instinctively know when the good health of your relationship is being compromised and if you can’t convince your partner of this fact and, or to go with you to therapy then you will always find yourselves at loggerheads. Your decision to opt out will depend on how long you are willing to deal with this situation.
Everyone’s commitment time-frame requirements differ so be very careful of offering ultimatums. Be 100% sure that you are prepared to live with the consequences no matter the verdict.
Should you find yourself continuously harping on the subject of a one-sided relationship with no sign of change, then it’s about high-time that you hightail out of there, otherwise you will end up resenting your partner which will do neither of you any good.
You’ve lost contact with all that was good in your life. You no longer do what used to bring you joy. Your career, friendships or other relationships are suffering and you feel alone or isolated. If any of these ring true for you, then you are in a toxic relationship which needs exiting immediately.
What can you accept and what can you not? Are you able to give it another go after the fact or not? None of this is cut and dry. The choice is up to you… Do not allow yourself to be pressured into anything…
Remember, ‘Your Happiness First’.
For some people this is an absolute deal-breaker but if you are willing to try and get over it together, then by all means give it another shot. Please do rethink your decision should another affair rear its ugly head. This may well be a pattern and you will need to reflect on whether you can live with this. If you come to an understanding and are in agreement with the situation, then that’s a whole different ball game, as long as you both are aware of the rules.
Our perspectives and priorities change as life happens. So I change, you change and life goes on, but what happens when these changes start pulling you apart. Religious changes… Political changes… Financial changes… . If you find that you are totally different people and unhappy as hell with each other because of this then cut each other loose. Set your partner free. No use staying out of a sense of duty or loyalty. No shame in choosing yourself above all else.
So your partner is faithful but unhelpful, or helpful but unreliable, or reliable but inconsiderate. What can you accept and which are you able to live with. Yes, relationships are about compromise but there’s a chance that what’s acceptable now may well end up being the straw or straws that lead to the breaking down of your relationship. Take the time to evaluate harshly. Rather make the hard decisions sooner than later or you may end up having to deal with disappointment, heartache and regret as well.
No relationship is perfect. There’ll be ups and downs, but does the ups outweigh the downs? I would suggest a 60/40 rule. By this, I mean that when your personal relationship happiness rating is at 60%, you should ponder if there’s anything you can do to up this ratio because you ultimately want to be sitting at an 80/20 split.
Now comes the crucial questions : “Do I still want to be in this relationship?”, “Is this relationship worth my effort?”, “Can we make this better?” and “Are we willing to make this better?”
Do you have a 50/50 relationship? If we do what makes you happy now are we going to do what makes me happy next? If either of you are uncompromising, then your relationship will eventually take a downward spiral, but that’s not the end of the world. If you truly love one another then all is surmountable. It’s all about communication, being able to express yourself, and most of all having a partner who is willing listen as well as trying to understand, which will then ultimately lead to you both making the changes for greater harmony together.
Are you willing to move cities for each other whether for work or health reasons? Do you see yourself buying or sharing a home together? Will religious differences pose a problem when having children or as you grow older? We often don’t consider these questions until we are actually confronted with them.
Who is the first person you want to share your good news with? Who do you need amidst a crises? If your answer is ‘your significant other’, then your relationship is most certainly worth the work. The opposite is also equally important. Are you the first person your partner seeks out for all the above. If your answer is yes, then consider yourself one of the luckiest people on the planet. Everyone, no matter what they may proclaim, would love to be the center of someones attention and affection. We all yearn to be loved and cared about. It is the most amazing feeling to love and be loved in return.
All relationships need work. The more time you invest, the harder it is to throw in the towel. Giving up is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of strength. Having the strength to call it: “BUILD!” or “BREAK!”
Barn owls are normally monogamous, but about 25 percent of mated pairs “divorce.”
I am in a loving relationship and my partner and I respect each other.
Be careful of WHO and WHAT you invest your TIME in because it is NON-REFUNDABLE.
BOOK
A Compromising Position
by Carole Matthews
Genre: Humour/Romance/Fiction
MOVIE
Think Like a Man
Time: 123 min
Genre: Romance/Comedy
SONG
I’d Rather by Luther Vandros
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