Advice, Children, Life Lessons, Parents, Self-love

Teaching Children To Choose

There are so many things I may have done differently had I the courage to make different choices. You often hear people say: “If only I knew then, what I know now”. Okay, so you may not have had the knowledge back then, but what about chances missed because of a negative mindset or out of fear.

Caregivers choose to do what they think is best and may question the concept of children making their own decisions. You may even think it a load of ‘BS’, especially if you’re more old school with a, ‘you will do as I say’, attitude. I’m not challenging parenting styles, especially not on major welfare issues. No, I’m considering minor things which can inculcate well thought out decision making from a young age. You’ll be amazed at children’s insight and how responsible they can be. We can even learn from them. It’s definitely a two-way street. Yes, they may see the world through rose-coloured glasses, but maybe as adults it’s good to be reminded of this because our choices are ultimately very different when all we see is doom and gloom.

Learning Life Lessons

Eating choices = Good health/Self-love.
Allowing children to choose what they dish-up, with a little persuasion in the vegetable department, encourages them to make good choices, even if this only takes full effect once they’re much older, but hopefully it is enough to cement a healthy relationship with food that circumvents any future eating disorders.

Entertainment choices = Compromise/Acceptance.
Discussing and giving everyone a chance to choose the family movie teaches little ones about compromise and to accept other peoples choices. With this comes the realization that not everything is in your control, nor do you always get what you want. They do however have control over their actions; sulk for not getting their way or be happy and enjoy the movie. 

Clothing choices = Rules/Commonsense.
The simplicity of being able to choose what to wear at the weekend, as apposed to a compulsory school uniform, helps children learn about protocols. You may have a tussle on your hands when there’s a special event, but the upside to this is them learning social norms, which instills a level of decorum that will benefit them immensely in the grownup world.

Money choices = Patience/Decisiveness.
Assisting young ones to save and allowing them to choose how to spend it, gives them insight into living with the consequences of their choices. It’s also the perfect opportunity for them to learn about comparing what they can afford and deciding on whether to continue saving for something more expensive that’s of a better quality. This can imprint that important decisions should not be made in hast and hopefully also negate instant gratification which is a major problem with today’s generation.

Friend choices = Communication/Self-growth.
Choosing friends is always challenging because figuring out who will support, uplift and encourage, instead of breaking you down is difficult at any age. All you can do is discuss and give advice because your best case scenario is to hope that they experience as little hurt, heartache, pain and disappointment as possible.

Action Choices = Tolerance/Responsibility
Growing up can be hard because kids are often cruel. The onus lies upon adults to steer children towards transforming their world into a better place. Love rather than hate. Accept rather than ostracize. Tolerate rather than vindicate. Grasping these concepts, as well as knowing right from wrong and understanding the consequences of harming another person will help eradicate many of the societal problems we are faced with today.

Study choices = Time Management/Consequences
Advocate, ‘what you put in, is what you get out’; meaning, that doing the work usually equates in good results, but also inform them that sometimes this correlation is skewed and then it’s best not to berate yourself because if you tried your best then you need to be proud of yourself either way. The same sentiment goes for not expecting great results if you did not put in the work. They need to be content with what they get and if not, then you can advise them on how to improve.

Environment Choices = Cleanliness/Forethought.
Getting children to see the concord between; clean room, clean mind and clean environment, clean life, is really important for them to keep their surroundings neat and tidy. This also teaches them to appreciation and be proud of what they have and to understand that everything lasts longer when looked after and taken care of. It may be helpful to explain that anything can be taken away from you at anytime and this applies to their personal belongings, as well as the condition of Mother-earth and the world around us.

Thought Choices = Perseverance/Positivity
Negative thoughts are natural, so it’s imperative to teach young people a positive self dialogue because there’s nothing better than being equipped with the emotional armor and knowledge that the bad you are experiencing will not last forever. The thought of, ‘this to shall pass’, will help them make clear choices based on the importance of what makes them happy, instead of being influenced by naysayers.

Childhood lessons, with positive reinforcement, gives rise to strong confident adults who have the tools and abilities to easily navigate their way through life.


Water Bear InfoFact :

It’s virtually impossible to kill a tardigrade (waterbear). You can freeze, boil, crush, zap with radiation or deprive it of food and water for years, but this eight-legged microscopic creature will still wiggle its way back to life.


Affirmation :Baby Mickey Mouse Mirror

I am the very best me I can be!


Quote :


Inspiration :

BOOK
I Think, I Am
by Louise Hay & Kristina Tracy
Genre : Children Self-help

MOVIE
The Emoji Movie
Time : 1hr 26min
Genre : Animation/Sci-fi Adventure

SONG

Brave by Sara Bareilles


Something Cute – ENJOY 😊


Advice, Happiness, Life, Personal Growth

Perfectly Imperfect


I’m sure you’ve come across the words: “You’re perfect just the way you are!”, and you may have responded somewhere along the lines of: “Am I really?”.

ImperfectWe often segment ourselves, ridiculing different parts saying: “I like this, but not that…”, whereas others tend to see and look at us as a whole and are probably less likely to pinpoint the flaws we nitpick about.

Im PerfectWhat we perceive as flaws are often the defining characteristics other people find appealing and attractive. Even though we hear phrases like, “we can’t all be the same” and “we are all unique”, most of us at some point just want to fit in and not be different or stand out. The attributes that make you unique are often the ones you wish away. Being accepted by your peers feels important and no matter how many people tell you its not or that it doesn’t matter, it still affects you none the less. People who sing this song probably didn’t have the problem or they’ve already overcome the hurdle of accepting themselves exactly as they are.

Nobody Is Perfect‘If you like and accept yourself, others will to’, is a concept that does not ring true for everyone. There are some fortunate individuals to whom everyone is attracted, even though they may secretly not like or even accept themselves as they are.  Onlookers with negative feelings about themselves will wish to trade places, thinking that likability would automatically solve their problems and assist to materialize all their hopes and dreams. On the other hand, some people often find themselves on their own and are totally happy and at peace in their own space, but observers may pity them, thinking it’s sad and that they must be very lonely. The lesson here is that situations are not always as it seems and what’s observed or portrayed on the outside may not be what’s prevailing on the inside.Happiness Perfection

Everyone perceives life differently. We all wish for what we do not have. We fall victim to thinking that we’d be happier if only certain things were different. The jokes on us. Happiness actually only comes from within and this is a result of accepting all our physical attributes and the situations in which we find ourselves. This does not mean that you do not need to strive for better. Oh hell no, that’s just the platform to build on. The mindset of “I’m happy with where I am, how I look and what I do”, puts you in the perfect head-space to be able to improve and excel at anything because it’s always easier starting from a positive place.

I love the sentiment; happiness is not an end destination, meaning to not put your ‘HAPPINESS’ on hold until you achieve something. In order to be happy you need to be content on your journey towards your achievements. If this is not the case you may experience short lived euphoria or an empty, hollow happiness; thinking that it will be better when you reach your next big goal. This negatively charged, goal-shifting habit is extremely detrimental to our well-being. The same goes for putting yourself down if you do not achieve a specific goal you’ve set. We should in actual fact be so proud of ourselves for just trying and even more ecstatic if we achieve what we set out to do. Mistakes Not Perfection

LIFE is not perfect. We are not perfect. Our friends, family, partners and co-workers are not perfect. Or are they? When they are in agreement with us and all our actions align, then we see everything as perfect, but when anything is out of sync then it’s as if the whole world is crashing down upon us. Everyone needs to do what they think is best for them and their situation, so things may not always align to your will. In some instances it will be perfect for you and in others, it will feel perfect for someone else. People often place unnecessary expectations on themselves and others to be and act a certain way. We’re normally over the moon, thinking that our world is perfect if things play out as we hoped, but should this not be the case, then major unhappiness ensues. Why does one perfect occurrence need to be at the expense of another or is this just how we perceive life?

The way of the world is to evolve and a conscious internal mind-shift could be the emotional evolution we need to see our lives and ourselves as perfect. Could this really be the answer to a blissful life?  If you’re distraught by the current view of your life then why not try on a different perception for size? What’s the worst that could happen; everything may still seem the same or a happy life may be your perfect fit? 

So to conclude: “The perfect solution for us may be to graciously accept what we now perceive as imperfect, whether in ourselves or others because that very imperfection may be what is needed to bring about the perfection we so desperately seek.”Imperfection Perfection


Fact :

5 Petal FlowerThe Fibonacci sequence, each number being the sum of the two numbers that precede it, (0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, … to infinity), often appears in nature; like the number of petals in a flower. These petals are also placed according The Golden Ratio, at 0.618034 per turn around a 360° circle, which allows the best possible exposure to sunlight.


Affirmation :Dancing Butterflies

I am PERFECT just the way I am!


Quote :

Beyond Imperfections


Inspiration :

BOOK
Anne of Green Gables
by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Genre : Children Novel

MOVIE
The Princess Diaries
Time : 1hr 55min
Genre : Romance/Comedy

SONG
Perfect To Me by Anne-Marie


Advice, Inspiration, Self-love

The Power of Choice

 

I had an epiphany when I came across the statement; “choosing to not make a choice, is a choice in itself”. It made me rethink my past; considering where I blamed others for an experience, when in actual fact it was me who had allowed it. So no-one else was to blame, but me… That then took me on a whole new negative journey; blaming myself instead of others.Mind Power

Fortunately with extra life experience, books, movies and therapy, I came to the conclusion that using words with negative connotations rarely produces anything positive in your life. Now when rethinking the above, I choose to replace the word “blame” with “responsible”; so no-one else was responsible, but me.

Taking ownership of all that happens in your LIFE is empowering in itself, even if the results aren’t entirely favourable. It’s amazing how a shift in thinking can alter your sentiment with regards to any situation and give rise to a totally different emotional response. We relinquish our power when, consciously or unconsciously, we allow others to steer our lives. The same goes for just letting life happen because in doing so, you render yourself helpless.The Adult

It’s a bit difficult rethinking what you could have done as a child because your PARENTS were in charge and they made all the decisions. You didn’t really have any power over what happened, but now your power lies in how you choose to view those choices that were made for you.

Caregivers choose to do what they think is best for you at the time. People of yesteryear questioned less and were more accepting of authoritarian figures. This conditioning led to automatic decision making, based on old mindsets passed on from previous generations, so even though circumstances had changed, often the responses did not. Breaking this cycle, with out of the box thinking, was very difficult because you had to challenge all that you were taught. The youth of today can speak up for themselves more easily, challenging those in charge, especially if what’s happening to them is deemed oppressive because there is more recourse.

Three ChoicesMaking life choices is trying at the best of times and having the responsibility of doing so for others, is even worst. Fortunately there’s a positive to every negative thought or feeling. If little people are under your care, then you have been gifted with a great opportunity to equip them with the necessary skills to make smart personal choices. You can start to inculcate decision making from a very young age by allowing them to decide on what to wear or how to spend their saving. Yes, these may be very simple decisions, but the experience of being responsible and learning to take charge of your own choices will greatly benefit them in the future.

DecisionsAs adults we are all faced with tough decisions and indecisiveness can be very overwhelming and stressful. The inability to make calculated choices for ourselves can be draining and that may lead us to allow others to take charge. This can result in major problems which can be emotionally stifling and even crippling later on in life.

Coffee Not CrackIf you’re lucky enough to come from a background where you obtained all the necessary skills to make your own decisions, then you’ll be in a position to live a life without regret because you’re able to take ownership of all that’s happening in your life. Should this not be the case and you find yourself pondering what you would have done differently if given a do-over, you could find yourself stuck in a horrible place filled with self-doubt and regret.

Question Lifes DecisionsDo not fret if you’re in an unhappy place, questioning all that you’ve done thus far. From this comes personal growth, but only if you take the time to FORGIVE yourself and others for past experiences. Evaluate your current situation and know that you can choose to do whatever makes you happy at anytime. It’s never too late. You’ll need to weigh all the pros and cons to establish what is and will be most beneficial to you in the long run. Your emotional happiness and mental sanity depends on it.

You’ll have a whole lot to contemplate if you’re sitting with a work or RELATIONSHIP conundrum. Children will definitely complicate these decisions. Many parents make detrimental decisions considering what they think is best for their children. What they fail to realize is that, what’s good for them is most probably best for their children as well because a happy person makes for a happy parent. The task of making life changing decisions is not always easy. It may take some sacrifice; maybe even relinquishing some creature comforts you’ve become accustom to.

Wrong Career ChoiceWhether you’re stuck in a job that’s unrewarding or in a relationship that is unfulfilling, questioning all your life’s choices or lack thereof, it’s good to reflect on how all these things came about. We need to question what criteria forms the bases of our decision making. It’s imperative that we consciously weigh all the information at hand before drawing to any conclusions, including: how we feel, what we know to be true and have learned from experience. This is often not the case, especially when life seems too chaotic. That’s when we find ourselves reverting to autopilot choices or procrastination because the whole process feels like too much of an effort. Many people fear making changes to remedy their situations because they are afraid of making the wrong choice. Valuable lessons often come from what we perceive to be a “wrong life choice” because it resulted in a bad experience or situation, but that may be the very catalyst needed to lead you to your blissful state. You have to be willing to take a chance and sometimes your safest choice is not always the best choice, but that is still your choice because you’re the one who will have to live with the consequences. 

Lifes ChoicesAlways doing things to please others opens a whole can of worms. By doing so you lose yourself and afterwards you may not even be able to identify what you love, want or makes you happy. To ensure your happiness you have to believe in doing what’s best for you because you are deserving of everything good in this life. If you’ve always been a ‘people-pleaser’, then this change in attitude will be met with resistance. The people close to you or that you come into contact with on the daily will start to question: “Who is this person?” and “What happened to the person we knew?”. Arguments will ensue. Just be calm. Explain your position. If they respect, love and care about you, then they will understand and come to terms with your new disposition. If not, then they are not worthy of your time or energy! You are in control. You always have a choice. This is your power and your HAPPINESS does count. You can’t please or make everyone else happy all of the time, so why not choose to please and make yourself happy instead.

Happiness


Fact :

dog walkingDogs are most likely to run to you on your return and this is often interpreted as love and affection. Part of that reason may be because they are solely dependent on you.

kitten exploringCats are more likely to do things on their own and just because they may not run to your side, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cold or unfeeling. They’re just minglers and explorers.


Affirmation :Oswald Happy Rabbit

I choose with love and my choices always steer me in the best direction possible.


Quote :Good Or Bad

You are the TOTAL SUM of all your LIFE CHOICES…


Inspiration :

BOOK
My Sister’s Keeper
by Jodi Picoult
Genre : Novel / Domestic Fiction

MOVIE
Groundhog Day
Time : 1hr 41min
Genre : Drama/Fantasy

SONG

Power by Little Mix


Something Thought Provoking 🤔😏🧐😲

Please Make Time To Watch This

Advice, Fathers, Love

Understanding Our Fathers


Fathers can either make or break you. The physical strength they posses transcends on many levels because the support, guidance, advice and protection you receive from them, or lack there of, while growing up, often sets the tone for your adult life.

Your fathers words will forever live with you, but eventually you will have to DECIDE what rings true as you experience life for yourself.Scolding DadReprimanding dad

Don’t for one minute think that men aren’t emotional. They are, but sometimes you just can’t see it because they are solution seekers and methodical by nature. That’s why the comforting thing is somewhat challenging for them at times. They would most probably give you sound advice on how to fix a problem rather than that hug you may be longing for…

Many men have unfortunately been reared to be hard and strong which results in them rarely exposing their softer side.Dad - No Affirmation For this reason they often have difficulty showing emotion and, or expressing themselves. CHILDREN often interpret this non-expressiveness incorrectly, coming to the conclusion that, ‘my father doesn’t love me and couldn’t care about what’s happening in my life’. Thoughts of ‘I’m not important to him’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ Trying Dadcan be very destructive.
This handicapped inner voice is responsible for holding so many adults back from reaching their full potential or striving for greatness. Dads feel pride but don’t often say it and then as a child, you are not aware of it. Please remember that children need to hear the words, “I am proud of you”. Hopefully as we grow older, we’ll figure this out for ourselves and then as long as we had a dad present in our lives, it will count volumes.

Fun DadsThank goodness for the shift in rearing our sons because everyone is in need of the same emotional support irrespective of their gender. This is definitely a step in right direction as it will result in fathers who are able to show and express the love and adoration they feel for their children more easily.

Why is there way less fuss around Father’s Day, and it’s usually a struggle to find the perfect gift, especially if you are looking for something sentimental; not socks, P.J.’s or a tie! Things which can assist us to show our dads how much we love and cherish them should be readily available. It’s so unfair especially if you consider all the single fathers out there. So they may be in the minority but that doesn’t mean that it should go unnoticed. They should in fact get extra praise, considering how much harder it is because many of the skill sets needed to rear kids doesn’t necessarily come naturally to them.

Dad Doing All

Here’s to finding ways of showing our dads just how special they are and how much they mean to us.


Dedicated to my DAD
Love KADUFFY

Lion DadFact :

Lions are fierce protectors of their pride but often snooze when they should be keeping a closer eye on their cubs.


Dad with ChildrenAffirmation :

I am present in my children’s lives and I give them the validation they need.


Super DadQuote :

A good father is a man who supports his children even when he has no money.


Inspiration:

BOOK
Shoeless Joe
by WP Kinsella
Genre : Novel/Fantasy Fiction

MOVIE
I Am Sam
Time : 2hr 14min
Genre : Melodrama/Drama

SONG

Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder